April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

"Child abuse is a horrific experience with potentially lasting effects. It's also, unfortunately, a common experience in America and around the world." (National Children's Alliance)

Child Abuse is something we don't like to talk about. I mean, it's not really an uplifting topic.

But children, all children, are our future. So, I believe what is happening to children, the good the bad, and the ugly, are worth talking about.

Child Abuse is all around us, but we often don't see it. We don't think it could possibly exist with people we know or love. Or, we don't want to get involved or don't know how to get involved. We may also judge the child, as the child has done something to "deserve it." We may also judge the family, as a troubled or problem family, and then think nothing more of it.

But we owe it to children to care and to be aware.

Child abuse occurs in every socioeconomic group--rich, middle, and poor--every religion, gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, and community.

I often get asked to explain what child abuse actually involves.

Child abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, and also physical neglect.

If there is physical and/or sexual abuse and/or physical neglect, it means there is also emotional abuse.

I'm reminded of a great definition of child abuse and neglect from the Child Advocacy Council of Santa Clara and San Mateo Counties in the 1980's. "Child Abuse is any act of omission or commision that endangers a child's life, health, or well-being." (I may not have quoted it precisely since it's been a few years.)

Nowadays, we also have online child abuse and "grooming" being done by adults who are posing as young adults or teenagers. The adults' goals are to eventually meet the child/adolescent/teen in person and to sexually exploit them.

And then there is trafficking of children and young people, which involves tricking, forcing or persuading the child or young person to leave their home. They are exploited, forced to work or are sold.

Child abuse can be deadly. In 2022, the most current year for these statistics, it was estimated that 1,990 children died from abuse! (National Children's Alliance)

That number is estimated because death certificates don't usually list child abuse as the cause of death, but will report the actual trauma to the child's body; i.e, ruptured intestine, brain hemorrhage, pneumonia, malnourished.

When children are abused or neglected, they lose their innocence, their trust, their sense of safety in their world. They carry a heavy burden.

Child abuse can impact children's minds, their bodies, and their future.

Because of childhood trauma children can experience mental health issues like depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, and also substance use disorders, risky behaviors, risky sexual behaviors, increased risk for violence against oneself and others, and physical health problems (Adverse Childhood Experiences--ACE--study conducted by Kaiser Permanente 1995-1997 with over 17,000 patients completing confidential surveys).

Most children who've experienced child abuse, get to grow up and become adults. But the impact of the trauma doesn't simply disappear. They have learned to survive--sometimes at a great expense to themselves or others.

I was one of those children. My parents divorced when I was three. My mom married another man--not a nice person--when I was five. I witnessed him beating my mom, and abusing his sons and my older sister with a belt and a bullwhip. He sexually abused my sister beginning when she was about 12 until she was almost 15. His older son sexually abused me from the time I was about seven until I was almost 10. I never told a soul about my family or my own abuse until I was in graduate school 20 years later.

I have done an enormous amount of healing work in order to be able to move from victim to survivor to thriver--in order to Move Beyond Survival. I was a therapist for 42 years, and am now a Transformational Life Coach. I have had the honor of working with hundreds to thousands of women on their healing journey. Transforming the trauma is possible. It does take time and courage.

Holding all children, and all adults who were once children, in love.

To Your Courageous Self!

Edie Savage-Weeks

Transformational Life Coach

ediesavageweeks.com